she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
