Whoa Z and x make the same sound
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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