rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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