i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
