Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
