What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You're like the curious george of whores
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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