Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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