my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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