New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
