I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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