Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
