He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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