you guys were way drunker than both of me
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize