Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
