I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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