does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
