Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
