so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
