I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Sorry about my life...
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