Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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