Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Boobs speak an international language.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
