everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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