In the future we'll all be gay
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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