Is it normal to miss your booty call?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
