you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
