If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
