so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
