i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
