Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
