i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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