A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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