Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier

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(504): View more from Louisiana

why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.

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(248): View more from Michigan

The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...

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(518): View more from New York

I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .

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(224): View more from Illinois

I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??

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