Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We had to coat check the pizza.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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