i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
