We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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