HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
