Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
