My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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