Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
