I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I think we might need a safe word for this...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
