I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
