Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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