dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We are all done wearing pants today
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
