I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You have to summon your inner elephant
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize