He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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