so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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