im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
