Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
