hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
