we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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