Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
