Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
