Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
