I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
And then my night got REAL pukey
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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