grandma shit on top of the toilet
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize