just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize