That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
