you guys were way drunker than both of me
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
